We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
