its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How naked do you want me to be?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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