We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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