Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
