I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
