I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
