Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
