It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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