My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
