And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
