it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
