She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
