I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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