Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
