I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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