do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
