my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize