Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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