shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
