he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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