the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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