boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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