? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
