i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
