I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Who died my cat blue again?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
