wrigley field is MILF paradise
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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