i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
