Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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