Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
