Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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