A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
