When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The uberlube is also flammable
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
