I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
