I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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