ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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