So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
