he puts the penis in happiness.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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