Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
