all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
