last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
