this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
