No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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