So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
