Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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