Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize