Quick, to the slutcave!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
