You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
