Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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