she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
someone owes me an orgasm
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
