That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
