After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
