He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
