Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
