Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
